Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
