I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i dont even know how to be here
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
