god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
