Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
