Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
