just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You've changed since you got that strap on
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
