i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Never joke about your clitoris.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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