it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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