I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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