Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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