I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
