no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
