Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
