me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
