Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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