i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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