honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
