Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
