also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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