im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
