I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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