if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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