Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
