I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
