Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
