Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Can i not drive my cunt home
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
