I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
