I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
