You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
