When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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