I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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