1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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