Say something about gay babies.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize