he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
