your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
