I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
