i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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