if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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