wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He did a backflip because drugs
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
