I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
