I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
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