honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
