You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
