I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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