i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
