my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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