Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
