how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
