I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
