you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
