Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
