Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
